i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My vagina just recognized that song.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize