i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
