And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
