That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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