Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
