How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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