Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you win again, gameday.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
