just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
