is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize