Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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