He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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