We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
