I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
