Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize