Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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