Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
