dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize