You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
