I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
