Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
