Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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