I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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