i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
