Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
