Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You were trust falling into bushes
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
