if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
