i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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