My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
