The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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