We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
