The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
