In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
