she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
