I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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