i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize