Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
