he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
