Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
