I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize