awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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