Someone shit on the floor
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
