you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
