so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize