I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
