just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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