After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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