New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
