worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
