That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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