I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
