question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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