o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize