I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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