I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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