I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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