you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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