Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize