dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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