True but thats because hes a fetus.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
