They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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