apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
