so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
