Too much gin, very little bucket
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize