The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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