i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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