Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize