she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's shark week go big or go home
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
