I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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