ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
