i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
