Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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