imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
pray to the hookup gods
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
