Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize