Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
