You just made me feel so damn special
So drunk its hurt
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i barfeds in our rink
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
