i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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