You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize